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September 1st, 2008
09:40 pm - Things Always Get The Darkest Before Dawn
Wow this is really strange. Im on LiveJournal for the first time in 51 weeks holy shit. I never really come on here anymore and idk why you know because i love to write. Its not cuz i dont have time because i have plenty of that. But what would I really talk about my overwhelming bad luck, a string of horrible misfortunes, or a girl one that i really care about hmmm lets take a minute and think. I always hated doing this tho I hated people coming on here to vent all their problems i mean that sounds so selfish but honestly no one wants to read like 4 pages of shit that happend to you throughout the day, or the week, or whatever. Until I realized I do it all the time, everytime I rite in fact and it kinda put me in place with everything you know. It made me realiz how we are all conneceted in the same ways, we relate to each other through our problems in life. its just some people are willing to listen more than others instead of just waiting to tell their sides. But i really did hate it for a while I thought dont write something unless you have something profound to say, you know whats the point if there is no meaning or depth to what your telling. My profound thing today was finding out why, why i hated hearing problems for so long. Why it killed me inside to listen to everyones bullshit. It was because I hated my self and dealing with my own shit. I could just never live up to it. I hated the person I was and how I treated people. So that is what I wanted to vent about today Change. Change what you do with your time, instead of trying to make your life better think about others always. You only change one life by helping yourself, by helping others you achieve something great.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: Cookie jar By gym class heroes
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September 4th, 2007
02:20 pm - Whats new with me...
Dear journal lol well yea ive realized that i have lost touch with you over this last year. Now i know it hurt but im back now so dont be too disapointed. Life is alrite at the moment. Ive just stared school again and i have to say im gonna try a lot harder this time around. I know school means a lot to my parents so im gonna have to make them proud. I just wish life was like the movies, all perfect and u could be a kid forever. I just wish I was having a little more fun and working a little less. But i think things will change once my brother gets home. My girlfriend Jill is doin well too we have been together for almost two years now and I still love her more than nething well thats all for now Ill write again later for neone who wants to read.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) calm
Current Music: Guster - one man wrecking machine
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May 21st, 2006
08:56 pm - Friends
Yea so I havent done this whole livejournal thing in such a long time. I mean I am so sad because this may be one of my few last entries. I mean highschool is almost over and stuff so I dont know what the point of telling everyone my problems would be. I mean if I had to go back and rewrite all my entries I would make them less sad. I use to worry about stupid things that didnt matter in my life. When I should have been worrying about the things that do. School is almost over and I just want to tell my friends how much I love them all. Brian, Angelo, Justin, Shawn, Danny, Nicky, and Joey man you guys have gave me the best times in my life its gonna be sad to walk away from it all Im really gonna miss the times we had, But I cant wait for the ones we are gonna have.
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April 9th, 2006
05:24 am - Late Nite Or Early Morning
Well yea its going on 5:20 and I still cant sleep Idk what It is I just am not tired. I guess I have a lot on my mind like spring break, prom, graduation and shit like that Idk. Well yea spring break is a week away and idk Im kinda excited I guess. I mean Im gonna have a lot of fun but its a lot of money that I dont have. Well hopefully Ill save some. All I can think about rite now is my baby and how much I love her she means everything to me Im sry about everything today baby I love u so much and cant wait to see you
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March 12th, 2006
04:20 pm - New Entry
Well yea basketball is now over and Im pretty down about it. I mean you don't know how much something truly means till its gone. I mean somethings I would give my life for and you just cant do anything once their gone. Well now I have to start looking ahead I mean in the next few weeks I have a lot of thinking to do I mean like where Im gonna go to college and what Im gonna do. Even things like where am I gonna live next year. Im really growing up fast and its hard to focus on whats most important. Spring Break is in a few weeks and a lot of people are really excited for it. I think it will be fun but I dont know if it will be as sweet as everyone thinks it will be. So lately Ive just been chillen with my freinds mostly Its only a lil while before everyones gone. This weekend went by so fast. It wasnt that good tho I mean friday was good because I got to see my baby and that made me really happy. She means everything to mean and right now shes about the only thing keeping me from going crazy. Im so lucky to have a person like her in my life. I just hope she knows how much I love her. Well yea today hasnt been the greatest for a lot of reasons. I have a ton of homework and I dont feel to well. I mean its not like im sick just lately I havent felt real good about myself. I wonder if I did something wrong, it could be but Idk. Well if anyone ever wants to tal just gimmie a call or sumthing so we can hang out or what not.
NCAA- tourny this week anyone skipping school let me know...
"and the thing that makes you happiest is when that someone special calls for no reason just to say I LOVE YOU"
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Jack Johnson- upside down
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February 23rd, 2006
11:07 am - If I Had One Wish
Well yea I havent really updated in ages. It seems like I only write in here when there is shit I need to get off my chest. But lately I really cant complain. Basketball is okay its gonna be ending soon I mean I never thought it would go buy this fast you know. I found out yesterday that we play linclon fist round of districts. I really wanted this I mean If we win its a storybook finish for me, but if we lose you know its how I'd want to go out. I mean we're not gonna lose but hey. Well neways yea things have really been good lately. I havent been gambling that much even tho I want to be. I talk to alot of my good friends all the time. Me and shawn and justin went bowling the other day. That was fun, today i think I might be hanging out with angelo then john later prolly play some cards. Yea well last nite I went over my baby's house she is so amazing and I love her. Tomorrow is of official 3 months even tho we've been together for more like 6. Well yea I really dont want break to end because school sucks I really dont want it to end. That would suck so much when it does Ill hate every minute of it. Im still deciding on where to go to college but it will come with time u know. well I hope to hear from everyone soon write me or sumthing byes.
-Stewie-
"and the thing that makes me happiest is when that someone special calls for no reason just to say I LOVE YOU"
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/blah.gif) okay
Current Music: 112 YOU ALREADY KNOW
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January 22nd, 2006
09:18 pm - New Update
Well how is everything going lately. Im doing great actully things have really changed for the better. I have an amazing girl friend that I just love so much and she means the world to me. I cant wait for snowcoming its coming up really fast. I think its going to be so much fun and I am glad I have some awsome friends going with me. Yea Im kinda sad because my brother left this week. I didnt see him for two years last time he left so we will see. Yea spring break is coming up soon and i guess that should be exciting. It kinda gives me mixed feelings tho. Its kinda scary in a way for me. Well yea this year is flying by so fast I cant even believe its already second semester. I dont even like talking about it because it makes me so sad. Next year is gonna be so hard for me Idk what im going to do. We will just have to see. But yea Hope everyone is doing great. Have fun at the dance and if u know of nething good goin on after let me know.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/confused.gif) confused
Current Music: 112 You Already Know
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December 28th, 2005
11:57 am - Almost New Years...
So whats up with everyone. How has your break been going. Mine is good but not anything like I expected. I dont really know whats been going on lately. Neways theres a game today at Fitz everyone should go its gonna be a fun game. Yea so whats everyones plans for new years, I have to find something to do because I dont wanna sit at home all alone like I prolly will be but if you know of something goin on just let me know. Yea hope everyone got what they wanted for christmas, and hope all your families had a good holiday. Hope to see you all soon write me or sumthing byes.
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Bow Wow Let Me Hold You Down
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December 20th, 2005
12:22 am - Bad Nite
He spends his nights in California, watching
The stars on the big screen
Then he lies awake and he wonders, why
Can't that be me
Cause in his life he is filled with all these
Good intentions
He's left a lot of things he'd rather not
Mention right now
But just before he says goodnight, he looks
Up with a little smile at me and he says
If I could be like that, I would
Give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do
What would I do
Now and dreams we run
She spends her days up in the north park,
Watching the people as they pass
And all she wants is just a little piece of
This dream, is that too much to ask
With a safe home, and a warm bed, on a
Quiet little street
All she wants is just that something to
Hold onto, that's all she needs
Yeah!
If I could be like that, I would
Give anything
Just to live a day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
I'm falling into this, in dreams
We run away
If I could be like that, I would
Give anything just to live a day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
If I could be like that, I would
Give anything just to live a day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
If I could be like that, I would
Give anything just to live a day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
Hard nite and I cant sleep got a lot on my mind. So I wanted to leave you with a song that keeps playing in my head, and a quote for everyone: You have to realize that life isnt like a bad hand of poker you cant just fold what you dont like. Sometimes you have to bluff to get through the hard times. I messed my head up tonite once again and I hate me for doing it Im so stupid.
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December 18th, 2005
03:04 pm - Sup...
Hey everyone Im just updating a lil before the holidays and letting everyone know how sweet the break is gonna be. So every one let me know if u want to hangout over the break because its gonna be some fun times. I hope everyone has a good break and a great holiday. Iove you all comment or write me on myspace hope to see you soon.
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December 8th, 2005
05:55 pm - Basketball Season Has Returned...
hey everyone go to the game tomorrow at tower against frasher. Its gonna be sweet I think Im starting and I hope I do good. Even tho I prolly wont but neways we need everyone to go cuz Its gonna be sweet. I think this year will be good because the DLS boys are back together thats right me and anthony are back at the same school for the fist time in two years. Well hope to see everyone there tomorrow Love you all peace.
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December 5th, 2005
05:09 pm - Sup...
Well this weekend was pretty fun. I hung out with shawn a lot because he wasnt in such a good mood. On friday I played some cards with the boys and then went to hang out with Jill for a lil because she wasnt feeling well. On saturday I went to lakeside to go shopping for christmas stuff which was really fun. Shawn and I got some sweet stuff. After the mall we came home to play some party poker, but first we got chineese it was amazing. Well we played for a lil bit and then jay came over. We all were sitting around bored so we decided to play golden eye. Later that night jill came over for a few to see me, then jay and I went to shawns and played cards it was a crazy nite. Kids are really stupid when they are little bitches and say they are gonna step up and fight johny, yea right. Well sunday I woke up late and sat around. Got a goodmorning call at like 11. Jay and I went and got sum food and stopped at macomb mall for an hour or so. Some good deals at the fye there. Yea well then Jill and I went to the movies at around 7, we saw nick kelsey and his girl there it was pretty fun well the movie was okay but it was just fun being there. So today I woke up and I wasnt really tired wich is strange because Im def not a morning person. Well I got to school and got my new workout for first hour. This guy is pretty crazy if u ask me. Second hour had creative writing with anthony and we had some fun times like always. Thrid hour was gay health have a test tomorrow I wont even study and Ill prolly get em all right. Fourth hour had swimming, saw my baby on the way there ( : well swimming was gay as fuck. 5th hour slept and talked about clothes. 6th hour went to the computer lab which was fun for a lil but then I got sad. Yea when school ended I was so happy I had a rough day today. So I walked to the door with sum people got some news I didnt want to hear and It made me kinda mad. Well it did make me mad. Practice was alrite its not the same as it used to be. Back then bball was fun now its just all work and doing sumthing ur not. I tried really hard today But I guess it wasnt working It seems like If I make one mistake I get yelled at. I just have to keep trying harder and harder so I can keep my starting spot. Yea I hope this season goes well and not eveyone shoots all the time. Im so exctied for friday, but Im even more excited for christmas. This is gonna be the best christmas ever well at least for me. love ya
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/sad.gif) bored
Current Music: Beautiful Soul
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November 26th, 2005
05:46 pm - This week... amazing
So yea this week was so amazing. first on Wensday we had no school so ry john and I all took brian to the casino for his bday. Then when I got home at like 11 at nite I went over to my babys house. It was the most amazing night because around 1 in the morning we became an official couple. I love you so much JILL you make me so happy. So yea then thursday I had the fam come over for Turkey day. Nothing special then shawn came and we played WTP video game all nite. Friday hung out with the guys all day then At nite my beautiful girl came over and we hung out. God shes amazing, then shawn and lauren came over and we all watched a moive. So this morning had bball then chilled all day watching wsop. Hanging out with shawn in a lil and Hopefully hanging out with my baby later I love her so much.
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November 3rd, 2005
02:35 am - Life...
You have to realize everything isn't like a hand of poker you can't just fold what you don't like. You have to bluff to get through the hard times.
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October 31st, 2005
11:55 pm - How long its been...
Well I havent wrote in here in a while. I need to start writing more again. I mean my depressing life isnt so depressing anymore. I mean I have some good friends who are always there for me now. Its my senior year I am so excited for bball. Tonite was okay it was Halloween, and It was pretty fun. I love halloween because I like to watch scary movies. Well Im gonna go try to sleep even tho I never sleep nemore Idk Why either. Well nite nite and I will write again soon I promiss.
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October 17th, 2005
03:53 pm - How I Feel....
Stranger than your sympathy
This is my apology
I'm killing myself from the inside out
All my fears have pushed you out
I wish for things that I don't need
Your All I wanted
And what I chase won't set me free
Its All I wanted
And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees
Oh yeah everything's all wrong yeah
Everything's all wrong yeah
Where the hell did I think I was
Stranger than your sympathy
I take these things so I don't feel
I'm killing myself form the inside out
Now my head's been filled with doubt
It's hard to lead the life you choose
All I wanted
When all your luck's run out on you
All I wanted
You can't see when all your dreams are coming true
Oh yeah it's easy to forget yeah
You choke on the regrets yeah
Who the hell did I think I was
Stranger than your sympathy
All these thoughts you stole form me
I'm not sure where I belong
Nowhere's home and I'm all wrong
And I wasn't all the things
I tried to make believe I was
And I wouldn't be the one to kneel
Before the dreams I wanted
And all the talk and all the lies
Were all the empty things disguised as me
Yeah stranger than your sympathy stranger than
your sympathy
Current Mood: NONE
Current Music: sympathy
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October 2nd, 2005
07:12 pm - Hello..
well yea whats up with everyone. Well yea this weekend was pretty sweet. Had school then went out to eat with mal. Came home played cards. Went to the football game we won it was pretty cool. yea saturday was sweet Michigan, and Flordia State both won so I was pumped. Well yea after that joey had a bunch of ppl over it was really fun. Well yea today I had anthony and steve come over and we messed around on the computer. After that we went to open gym from 4 to 6. It was sweet, after it ended we talked to some of the girls bball team and watched them practice. Yea so now Im at home and about to eat dinner. Oh yea Amanda and Teresa stopped by too today so that was nice. Well I can't wait for the girls game tomorrow I get so pumped. Plus I cant wait for tuesday cus I have a date with someone (: I'll see you all in school tomorrow byes.
If Only She Knew.......
Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: Incomplete
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September 27th, 2005
09:55 pm - COOL...
Dealer: OUT4LINED5 shows four of a kind, sevens.
#2732021570: OUT4LINED5 wins $13.83 from the main pot with four of a kind, sevens.
2732131478: OUT4LINED5 wins $6.25 from side pot #2 with a straight, five to nine.
#2732131478: OUT4LINED5 wins $19.10 from side pot #1 with a straight, five to nine.
#2732131478: OUT4LINED5 wins $20.25 from the main pot with a straight, five to nine.
#2732164218: OUT4LINED5 wins $25.90 from the main pot with a pair of jacks.
#2783068740: OUT4LINED5 wins $0.98 from side pot #2 with a straight, nine to king.
#2783068740: OUT4LINED5 wins $41.24 from side pot #1 with a straight, nine to king.
#2783068740: OUT4LINED5 wins $67.80 from the main pot with a straight, nine to king.
dirtmcgir420: bummer bcl
bcl22: k 8
bcl22: haha ur sure are an idiot
rita08: that was the most horrendous vicious hand of all time
bcl22: lol what were u holding
dirtmcgir420: good hand out
rita08: why does pp reward the worse play
bcl22: always does
rita08: the worse u play on pp the more u get rewarded
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September 19th, 2005
10:23 pm - UPSET...
This is a much needed message. Lately I havent been the bestfriend to people. I have prolly been mean, or acting strange towards you. But I havent payed much attention to some of my real friends who have been there for me. I have taken some time and I know why they have been acting bitter towards me. Im a screw up, I mess everything up as soon as I open my mouth. I think I helping myself, but Im really just hurting some ppl who mean a lot to me. I dont know how to fix It I just want ppl to know that Im sry for whatever. Im not asking for u to forgive me I am just trying to let you know how much I care for you and how much u mean to me. Having these ppl in my life has made it so much better at times. I dont know how they will see this so if u just see them maybe saying that I wrote about them could help it a lot.
First my friend Brian, I am so sorry that I say things to you when all you do is get me out of the shit I get myself in. You have always been there for me ever since grade school. Your like my brother your past a friend. I know that sometimes we fight and sometimes we argue. But I just want to tell you that Ill be there for you forever. Ill have ur back whenever you need me. Ive said some stupid shit and I have said some mean shit, but you know its in good fun. Its just like all the shit u guys give me. I know its in fun and I know we dont mean it. I know that u do it cuz even to im older ur like the big brother. I just want to tell you I dont know where Id be without you. I wouldnt be where I am today Ill tell you that youve made my life funner every stupid thing we have done together just me and you I dont think anyone has that kind of friendship and I want you to know Im here for you always. Im like family....
Second is my friend justin, we were so close through middle school, and my sophmore year. Basketball brought us so close at those times we were always together. Just me and you having fun playing ball. Those were the best time. I have so much fun memories with you. Your dad is like my dad. Your family is like my family and the same back to you. I know that we havent been as close as we used to lately and it scares me. I dont know what I did but I know it was something that I did to seprate us this way. I can hear it in ur voice its not the same towards me. I just want you to know that I love u man. Your always there for me when no one was. It was like nothing was ever worng with us. All the fun and dumb stuff we did together jsut having fun playing ball. I will always remember how we were back then. I mean you were prolly my dearest friend at those times. And I know u like to have fun now and then making me mad its all good I dont mind. I just want u to know Im still that same kid from middle school and I always will be here for you. I got your back till the end. "pick and roll"
The last is my friend Steve, this kid was the little bro I never had. Last year we became so close. His family is awsome and I love them. This is one of the coolest, nicest, hard working in the weigth room lol kid I ever met. Recently I have found out that we are no longer friends. It kills me to say that but its true. This kid was there for me at one of the hardest times in my life when I was so depressed doctors had me on meds. I remember the times where we would just watch movies and listen to music. I had not a care in the world. He was a great friend who was down to do nething as long as we were havin fun. I being the dumbass like I am fucked that up. And I regret it so much. This person is a good person who I would really like to have in my life. His says he doesnt know me nemore. Thats cuz we havent talked in like 3 months. You do know me however steve, Im still that same kid who likes to have fun an mess around, who blends in with the couch lol. It kills me knowing he doesnt think of me as a friend. We had some of the best times last year during bball season. I wish I wasnt stupid cuz I need u to be there for me, just like im always gonna be there for u man. Im sry for the hur and I dont know how I can make it up to you all I know is that your a good guy. I could only hope for someone like you to be my friend. Cuz you have a lot of friends and so do I. But only a handfull really matter in my life man and your one of em so im sry.
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September 18th, 2005
04:30 pm - YOUR GONNA BE THE ONE THAT SAVES ME....
So yea this weekend was pretty good. Had some good times, with some good friends. Brads house was pretty sweet, too bad I cant say the same thing for Danielles lol. Well anyways yea this week is gonna be fricken awsome because of homecoming. I dont know what it is but I love this time of year so much. Well yea if anyone wants to do sumthing this week let me know cuz its gonna be crazy. Pep rally is gonna be the shit. And yea being a senior makes it that much better. Well yea thats pretty much all for now so leave some comments cuz u love me.
And I dont know why But I always think of you..........
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: John Mayer Neon
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kingstew15's journal